Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
