you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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