I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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