I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
