I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
