We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
