I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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