Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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