this just has baby written all over it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
