I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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