Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
