I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
