dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
