yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
