I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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