Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My ATM looks so different sober.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
