So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
