he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
