god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
