i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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