I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
