His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
