Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
