Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
