There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
