Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
