Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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