I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
