Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
