Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Randomize
