Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
