New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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