I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
