I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
