My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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