I can text with my tongue
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
