I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
