D3 body, D1 cock
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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