shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
