I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
