that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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