he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
