I wannas sexs uuuuu
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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