He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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