I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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