Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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