Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
