Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The adults are the big ones right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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