just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
