Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
