Porn is love you can see.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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