Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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