I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
